By DAVE O’SULLIVAN Publisher The weight on the shoulders of the Mainland Regional girls soccer players is heavier than any barbell or sandbag they might train with in the offseason. Shaky legs don’t come from playing 100 minutes of soccer, but rather the emotion that trickles from their heavy hearts and buckles their knees on the way down to their cleats at the final whistle of every game. Each Mustangs player has No. 4 etched on the tape that holds her shin guards in place during every game. But No. 4 shouldn’t be written in magic marker on strips of tape. It should be on the back of Aisling Cooke’s jersey as she scores goals as a freshman playing on the varsity team. Aisling never got to take the field as a member of the Mustangs. She was killed in a car accident a few days before school started. Just 14 years old. So much promise, so much life to lead, an outstanding athlete who never got the chance to realize her dreams. It can be almost too much to bear for teenagers to lose a beloved teammate and friend. You can see the hurt in the eyes and body language of the Mainland players, particularly after a loss. They want so much to win for Aisling, to make her proud; that somehow if they can win every game it might ease some of the pain they are feeling. On Sept. 11, Mainland faced Ocean City, the Mustangs’ most bitter rival. In nearly every sport, for both schools, a successful season often comes down to whether or not they scored a victory over the other. Mainland made a dramatic comeback, tying the game at 1 with a goal in the second half to force overtime. With barely more than a minute remaining in overtime, Ocean City’s Ashley Edgell scored off a rebound to give the Red Raiders a 2-1 win. The Mainland players were crestfallen, having worked so hard to win that game, and with the memory of their teammate and the tragic loss of her life still fresh in their minds. But moments after the game, the Mustangs players learned something: that even though the Red Raiders were opponents from whistle to whistle, as soon as the game ended and the result tallied in the scorebook, they became sisters, if only for a few moments. 
Ocean City goalie Arianna Segich, right, hands a green flower to Mainland Regional goalie Brook Vitale following their game in September. The Red Raiders wore green hair bands and gave each Mainland player a green flower to show their support for the Mustangs, who lost a player in a tragic car accident prior to the season. Teams throughout the area have been showing their support for Mainland with similar gestures. (Glory Days Magazine photos/Dave O’Sullivan) Ocean City’s celebration after such a dramatic victory was muted, lasting only a few seconds, as Red Raiders coach Kelly Halliday quickly gathered her team into a huddle, knowing a drawn-out celebration would have been in bad taste considering the range of emotions the Mustangs players were going through. The teams lined up for the post-game handshake, and each Ocean City player presented a Mainland player with a green flower, a small token of respect for not only Aisling Cooke, but the courage her teammates have shown in continuing to push through their season and play hard after such a tragedy. Ocean City also wore green hair bands during the game as a show of solidarity. “After the accident, we knew we were playing them coming up shortly and we knew we wanted to do something. We weren’t sure what we were going to do. A couple of the freshmen played with (Cooke) and they thought of flowers. A couple of the moms paid for the flowers and we wanted to do that after the game,” Ocean City’s Devon Terwilliger said after that game. “Ocean City vs. Mainland has always had that rivalry, but we wore the green pre-wrap (hair bands) to show them that on the field we’re going to be competitive and be rivals, but off the field we still feel for them and want to support them in every way that we can.” Those actions by the Red Raiders may seem small, and surely hair bands and flowers can’t take away the pain the Mainland players are feeling, but it underscored the bond athletes share in competition. In many cases, that bond can become the support system young athletes rely on to help them through such difficult times. “We have a ton of support for these girls. The girls had a game at EHT and I think that was the biggest crowd they’ve ever had for a game at EHT,” said Nick Droboniku, a senior who is a member of the football and baseball teams at Mainland. “We had the memorial service for Aisling at the school and the bleachers were completely full of people from the community. It was standing-room-only for the vigil, and there were people from all over the community there.” Girls soccer coach Chris Connolly said he has been impressed with the outpouring of support for his team as the girls try to deal with the loss of one of their own. “The football team came out and cheered us on at our first game. They came onto the field after introductions. The field hockey team made little gift bags for all our players, the cross country teams are wearing stuff for us, our boys soccer team has been great. Girls tennis, cheerleaders, really every team at Mainland has embraced us and lent a lot of support,” Connolly said. “Those things are above and beyond what you would expect and it’s a great gesture.” Unspoken bond For anyone who has played any type of team sport, they understand that unspoken bond between athletes, not only between members of their own team, but also opponents. When you’re playing the game, you’re doing everything you can to beat your opponent. But when the game is over, there generally is a mutual respect because each team knows the other gave it everything they had to win the game. Ted Khoury has first-hand experience with that sacred bond among athletes. He is a former high school baseball player and still plays competitively and coaches locally. He’s also the father of Dean Khoury, one of the four boys from the Mainland football team who were killed in an August 2011 car accident on the Garden State Parkway. “The first people who replied after our accident was the Holy Spirit football team, and then probably the Ocean City team right after. At the funerals, football teams from as far away as Pinelands and Barnegat showed up in their uniforms. St. Augustine Prep, nobody disliked like the Prep more than Mainland, and they hung the kids’ jerseys out there. Every place we went throughout that year, it made it all tolerable to go through. You have to go through it to get through it,” Khoury, a Linwood resident, said. “When you are part of that team, it’s not only those 15 or 20 girls. You multiply that by all the teams in the school and you can multiply that by all the teams in the conference that play that sport. That’s exactly what happens. I remember that video of the softball girl who hit the game-winning home run and hurt her leg, and the girls on the other team carried her around the bases. The difference that you can see with the kids who play a team sport and understand what it means to be a part of a group of 15 or 20 instead of being on their own, it’s dramatic. I can tell if someone played sports, and if they did they just approach life differently. There were kids who didn’t play sports and I remember thinking, I hope they don’t feel like they are on the outside of what’s going on with this healing process. And it never felt like that from anybody involved with the teams.” Family atmosphere Connolly said th
e closeness his players share has been an integral part of the healing process. It hasn’t been easy, he said, as the Mustangs had to begin their season only a few days after Aisling’s death. But by sticking together they are managing to make it through their season. The Mustangs currently are 4-4-2, but have played competitive soccer and their efforts have been inspiring considering the circumstances. “There’s definitely a family-like atmosphere. We’re working together six days a week for months on end, so that’s a good support system for us. The support has been phenomenal from parents, teachers, students, administrators, the community, and other teams,” Connolly said. “We’re even seeing teams from outside of New Jersey giving us support and every team we’ve played has made their support known to us through ribbons, wearing green, green balloons at their field when we play a game. It’s overwhelming. That type of support can help us out throughout the rest of the season. “After the whistle we are one big soccer community and the support from teams like Ocean City and EHT has been great. It’s very comforting to know that we’re all looking out for each other.” 
Mainland Regional girls soccer players gather prior to a game against rival Ocean City earlier this season. The Mustangs have posted a 4-4-2 record while dealing with personal tragedy. Connolly said Aisling was an exceptional young lady, and that members of his team are trying to honor her memory by playing hard and being there for each other, even if it’s in a way that doesn’t seem like a big deal. “She was a great kid who was a great student, smiled, worked hard at everything. She was a great presence, even as a freshman, to have around. You could just see how she was a part of the team from Day One,” Connolly said. “On any sports team there is a family-like atmosphere. They are looking out for each other and supporting each other whether it be pasta parties or helping out with homework, that kind of stuff. The support inside our own team has been great.” Coming together Sadly, the Mainland Regional High School community has been through this before and Khoury said people understand how difficult this time is for the girls soccer players. “You wish we didn’t know what to do. I got a text from one of the teachers at Mainland saying it happened again. It’s a text I never wanted to see again. You could see it, it was almost like a drill. Get everybody together, let them hug and cry. It just continues to carry through,” Khoury said. “The other day the kids from some boys soccer teams showed up and gave the girls pins, and that will go all the way through the season.” “We’re very close with the girls on the soccer team, the guys have girlfriends on that team and very close friends on that team. I feel like the football team, along with the boys soccer team, have been great supporters of the girls. We had (Aisling’s initials) all over our equipment for the game against Millville,” Droboniku said. “We’ve been looking out for the girls and trying to do our best to be understanding, because of what happened with the football team a few years ago. We know what it’s like to lose a teammate and a friend. Since we were in that situation, I don’t know if it helps, but we’re making the best we can of the situation. “They come out to support us and we want to be there for them, that’s the biggest thing,” Droboniku added. “A few years ago, we had all the support from the community and the other teams, and our big thing was, we’re going to do everything we can to support these girls, support their friends and support people who are not only on the team but who also were friends with Aisling. It’s a tough time for everybody.” Droboniku said the outpouring of support shows just how well respected Mainland Regional High School’s athletic programs are throughout South Jersey. “It’s not just our community, it’s communities all over the place. They understand the tragedies we’ve had to deal with and all the devastation that has gone through our community in the past three years … we’ve lost a lot in this community and people understand,” Droboniku said. “People show their support and it’s great. Anything people do, it really does help and it shows the level of respect people have for this Mainland community.” Life lesson It’s never easy to see a young person pass away before they have even had a chance to experience the prime of their life, and a question that likely is haunting members of the girls soccer team this fall is, why? Why is our teammate gone? That question can’t be answered, but if there is some good to be taken away from such a tragic situation it is that these high school athletes have learned that even in a tragic situation there is support, and many people who care about their well-being. “Our No. 1 concern is the girls, and regardless of the situation that’s always the No. 1 concern for a coach. The community support has allowed me to have enough strength to be there for the kids, and also the players and the way they are facing everything from schoolwork to everything else, it’s a great strength for me to see their inner strength and it allows me to be there for them,” Connolly said. “The support from the community and within the school shows them there’s always going to be support there for them and it helps with what we are going through.” Said Droboniku, “I feel like I live in the best community that I possibly could. Going through all these tragedies and learning how to be there for each other and how to be there for other people. I feel like it gives us a sense of resilience to come back after something like this happens. The community becomes closer and kids become more understanding. There’s not much bullying in our school. People are friendly toward one another and it’s a great environment in our school. Everything that we get is a privilege. We have to realize that anything can happen and it can be taken away from us in a second. That’s one thing we talk about during the season. Don’t take these moments for granted.” Contact Dave O’Sullivan: sully@acglorydays.com; on Twitter @GDsullysays [adsense]
The bond that teammates, and even opponents, share helps athletes make it through difficult times
