Momversation: With Ocean City girls lacrosse mom Antoinette Rohrer

Glory Days Magazine’s “Momversation” is an occasional series that spotlights mothers of high school athletes to get their take on their son’s or daughter’s scholastic career and to provide some insight into the lives of these athletes. Publisher Dave O’Sullivan recently sat down with Antoinette Rohrer, mom of Ocean City lacrosse player Kristi Rohrer. Kristi, a junior, dedicated her 4-goal performance in a win over Egg Harbor Township in last month’s “Girls lacrosse vs. cancer” game to her mother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer last September during Kristi’s soccer season. Jamie Pearce, a cancer survivor and mom of freshman player Mackenzie Pearce, also was honored at halftime. Kristi is a third-generation Red Raider, and will graduate in 2015, which also happens to mark the 50th anniversary of her grandparents’ graduation from Ocean City. Sully: Give me a little background on Kristi and what she was like as a kid. Antoinette: As a child, Kristi was always determined. She was competitive and always striving to get an “A” in school. She was very hard on herself. She’s been on the honor roll since the third or fourth grade. It poured over into sports. She started dancing at age 4 and always wanted to be in the front of the line. She actually broke both of her wrists in fifth grade and she would go to dance and watch. She had to go and watch what they were doing so that when they took the casts off she would be ready and they wouldn’t take her spot away from her. She was very determined as a young child. Sully: At what age did she show athletic ability? Antoinette: From the very beginning. No matter what she did, she was good at it. From the lifeguard races in Sea Isle to T-ball. I had a softball coach tell me that she was a natural athlete. We knew early on that she was a natural athlete. Kristi Rohrer, a junior, is one of the top goal scorers for the Ocean City girls lacrosse team, and also is a standout on the soccer team. Antoinette: That was the hardest part, telling the kids. I had known for a couple of weeks. Kristi got home from soccer and there was a soccer meeting that night for the parents and Kristi was annoyed that I wasn’t going. We had planned on telling the kids that night. After dinner we asked them to sit in the living room. My husband was going to do all the talking. We agreed from the beginning that we were going to be honest, we weren’t going to sugar-coat anything. My husband hesitated and my son looked at both of us and said, “OK, who died?” And I said, “I’m not going to die.” I held it together. Sully: What was your reaction, Kristi? That has to be a tough thing to hear when you are in high school. Kristi: When you think of cancer you automatically think of death, so that was the first thing I thought of. But after she explained it and how it wasn’t spreading and they could handle it, that made me feel a little better. But it was still terrible hearing that your mom has cancer. Antoinette: We talked about it and told them everything we knew up to that point. I told everyone from the beginning that we are going to stay strong and positive. We are still a functioning family, you are still going to do well in school and sports. If (Kristi and Kirk) don’t do well that’s what’s going to hurt me. And for the most part they have gone above and beyond my expectations. They have been a huge help, they haven’t been self-absorbed or selfish. My son has really stepped up to the plate and helped out around the house. Sully: Have you worried at all about what you are going through taking attention away from Kristi’s high school career? Antoinette: Yes, absolutely. I said from the beginning, “I’m not taking an ad out, I’m not putting this on Facebook,” and that kind of upset her. I said to her that she could tell two friends because I know she needed to talk to somebody, but I said please, I’m begging you, I don’t want this on Twitter and Instagram. I’m not putting it out there yet. My family and immediate friends knew. She kind of had a hard time with that. She wanted to express herself (on social media) but I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t want you putting this out there yet.” I wasn’t ready to put this out there. I didn’t want to be the center of attention, it’s not about me, it’s about her. I’ve tried not to make this about me. Sully: (The “Girls lacrosse vs. Cancer” game) had to have been a pretty cool night for both of you. Antoinette: It was a very cool night. She played her butt off, had a great game. A lot of my family and friends were there. It was great to see her and her whole team do so well that night. Sully: What was that like for you, Kristi, to be able to score four goals and lead your team to a win? Kristi: It was really cool to be able to play for my mom like that. Antoinette: I hope I haven’t overshadowed her, I’ve always tried to keep it about (the kids). Sully: What do you think of what Kristi has become and how she has matured? Antoinette: In my opinion, she has exceeded our expectations. First and foremost our children have to be respectful, and they have to do well in school. To be a three-sport varsity player and be on the honor roll, we are very proud of her and her accomplishments. I’m very happy for her. Sully: How neat is that for your family to keep that Ocean City tradition going? Antoinette: Both my parents and my husband’s mother went to Ocean City, my sister, my brother-in-law. It’s very cool. I wouldn’t send them to high school anywhere else. Kristi: When I graduate next year, both of my grandparents are going to be on the field for the 50th anniversary of their graduation. Sully: What do you think about that, Kristi, of having such a long family history at the high school? Kristi: I think it’s pretty cool. Antoinette: Ocean City is a very good school, both for academics and athletics. I told her, when you think about it, from your football field and track you can see the beach. I don’t think there is any other school in the state where you can do that. Once she gets older I hope she will realize how lucky she is to grow up where she is. Sully: What are you hoping for her senior year? Any thoughts about that? Antoinette: I’m hoping she does as well as she has done this year. I hope her soccer team wins the Cape-Atlantic League again. I’m hoping she can score her 100th goal in lacrosse next year, and continue to stay on the honor roll. I’m hoping it’s everything she wants it to be and more. She certainly hasn’t disappointed us when it comes to school and athletics. I’m hoping it’s a great year for her. And for college I want her to go where she wants to go, which I think will be Tampa University. Sully: Does it feel like it’s all going too fast? Antoinette: Definitely. The day goes slow, but the years go fast. I can still see Kristi as a 2-year-old. It definitely goes too fast. Some of the moms, I’ve been around since she was in kindergarten, and to think next year is going to be her last practice for this, her last game against this team. It’s bittersweet, but they have to grow up. Contact Dave O’Sullivan: sully@acglorydays.com; on Twitter @GDsullysays